


Live, Love- just shut up already.

by remusroses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Boys In Love, Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Fluff, Fluffiness, M/M, Marauders era, Marauders headcanons, Secret Relationship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius has a mansion, Underwater Kiss, and a lake, scared of coming out, with a forest, wolfstar headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27304273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remusroses/pseuds/remusroses
Summary: „My mum has that quote all over the house. It’s not that bad!“, James grunted and hit Sirius‘ arm with a random stick he had found on the ground, after Sirius interrupted him.Remus just chewed on his bottom lip until it felt sore.It was all a rather bad idea, he thought. In the black of the forest he could barely see, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness, slight crunching of leaves all different shades of red piling on the soft ground.Maybe Remus should've said no too.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Live, Love- just shut up already.

„My mum has that quote all over the house. It’s not that bad!“, James grunted and hit Sirius‘ arm with a random stick he had found on the ground, after Sirius interrupted him.

Remus just chewed on his bottom lip until it felt sore.

It was all a rather bad idea, he thought. In the black of the forest he could barely see, his eyes still adjusting to the darkness, slight crunching of leaves all different shades of red piling on the soft ground.

Peter had been K.O.’d by the amount of pizza they’d consumed, and politely refused to come along. Sirius hadn’t seemed as disappointed as James, but Remus thought that James just wanted to always include everyone and that if Peter wasn’t comfortable coming it was better he didn’t.

Maybe Remus should’ve said no too.

Not only to this nightly adventure, but to the whole weekend. Just because Sirius‘ parents were away and he’d bribed Regulus to not snitch, didn’t mean that it was ever a good idea for all of them to come over to his, frankly, mansion and stay the weekend.

But Remus had never been able to say no when Sirius brought out his best puppy eyes, all shining with _silver_ , and the damn pout.

Just like he’d been helpless as soon as he’d cornered him in the bathroom after he had, just like Pete, politely declined nightly plans, and stuck out the lower lip.

“Please, Moony. Pleaseeee.“ „Im not saying yes, Pads.“ „You don’t have to. Just come with us.“

And he had grinned like he exactly knew that Remus wouldn’t say no. He hadn’t.

“It’s probably illegal“, he murmured when they stepped out of the gate and into the beginning of what was, in fact, a small forest.

“It’s not. Because it’s our forest. Not someone else’s. I can do whatever I want in my own forest.“

“Top ten most snobbiest things Sirius Black has said in his life“, James snickered, and received a shove, but a little laugh too. Remus had just shook his head, but smiled too.

“Live laugh Love is probably the stupidest quote to exist“, Sirius continued their previous discussion, Remus‘ lip slowly but surely coming apart. When he looked up, he saw a full moon shining through the crowns of the high trees. Healthy trees.

The Blacks probably had some kind of thing to water their own forest. Nothing seemed impossible in Remus‘ eyes.

“Like, of course live. What are you gonna do, die? Stupid“, Sirius went on, hitting passing trees with his own stick. He had picked it up after James had found his.

Remus thought they always had some sort of competition going, even if they didn’t notice it themselves.

“To be alive doesn’t equal living, Pads“, James scoffed, half in joke and half serious. Sirius just shoved him again.

“If you say so. My sticks longer than yours though.“

Remus‘ lip was about to rip.

“Haha. We know my stick is longer.“

This didn’t feel like it was about branches anymore.

“Dick. Not true. Even if, then mines stronger.“

“Sure, Mr Complex. We don’t have to pretend, Moony has the best dick, hasn’t he. We’ve all seen, Re.“

Remus was so, so, so glad that it was dark, suddenly, because he didn’t want anyone to see his crimson cheeks.

“Whatever“, Sirius just murmured, suddenly a lot less enthusiastic, and gave James a last, loose shove.

“We’re here.“

-

The lake was broader and larger than Remus had imagined it to be. Again, though, the Black family never really went small. If their motto wasn’t something Latin, it probably would’ve been _go big or go home_.

“Skinny dipping!!“, James yelled.

“No!!“, Remus said so quickly that both their heads turned to him. He coughed awkwardly.

“I’m going to get sick already from the cold water, I need at least something on me.“

It was the best he could come up with, very, very carefully avoiding looking at Sirius and just shrugging at James‘ eyebrow raised at him.

“Now go in, or I‘ll regret it.“

“Ohh, Moonys getting all bossy with us!“, James laughed, jogging towards the water and tipping his toe in. He shivered.

“Damn.“

“Hmm“, Remus hummed, ignoring Sirius‘ look as he came to the water next to James and started walking in.

The other boys weren’t as quick, and before he knew it, he was swimming and they were still standing at the shore.

“Guys. Seriously. Come on now, or are you scared?“ Before he’d even finished saying the word, smiling despite himself, Sirius and James were screaming and running into the water, splashing it everywhere and shoving each other. Remus couldn’t help a laugh escaping him at the sight, until it died on his lips as he was- unceremoniously so- dunked.

“I hate you“, he gasped.

“Love you too“, Sirius grinned freely, jumping for Prongs. Remus wished his heart weren’t stuttering so hard.

“You can’t see anything under the water. It’s black! Can’t even see my own hands“, James marvelled, and Remus just nodded as he continued his monologue. Sometimes James didn’t need someone to join the conversation, just someone barely acting like they were listening, or actually doing so.

First, they were shivering, but then, they forgot where they were and started acting stupid, like they always did, eventually. It was silly, and fun.

Then Sirius dunked Remus, and went down with him. Instead of Coming up again, he pulled him close, and Remus froze, reaching for something and finding Sirius‘ jaw. He held it, and Sirius came closer, and-

He pushed him away and came up gasping for air.

“I’m cold“, he said lamely.

-

When he woke up, it was before sunrise. He wondered if he had had any sleep at all. The others were lying around him on the huge and fluffy carpet that definitely had an unexplainable stain from some strange drink Peter had spilt on it. They were all out, James snoring happily and Sirius almost facing Remus, not more than a few inches away.

He was never fully relaxed, not even in sleep. Awake, he liked to pretend, but at night he couldn’t, and somehow Remus was fascinated by it. By the small creases in his forehead that came from him frowning in his sleep, the way his nose was slightly scrunched up.

Remus wanted to kiss the creases away. He always did. Never didn’t.

Sirius came after him, of course.

Remus had a few long, quiet minutes sitting in the soft Earth, letting it run through his fingers as he watched the lake, before he heard leaves crunching and puffs of air being breathed out.

“Awake already?“, he whispered, not looking. Sirius sat down next to him and looked straight ahead, too.

“Mh. Noticed you were gone.“

“Really can’t go a minute with me gone, hm Pads?“, he smiled a little, almost teasing.

Sirius cupped his cheek and turned him around.

“No. Can‘t.“

There was a moment of silence, and Sirius dropped his hand. The air felt cold on Remus‘ cheek immediately.

“Hey, Re. I’m sorry about earlier. I know you’re worried a lot, I shouldn’t have done it.“

Remus looked at him, really did, and pulled in his bottom lip.

“Im not. Worried all the time, I mean.“

And Sirius just smiled softly, and knowingly, and reached out to softly tap Remus‘ bottom lip with his thumb. Giving his own thumb a tap, Sirius nodded at the small patch of blood on it.

“Yeah.“

Remus swallowed, turning back to look at the lake.

“Good. Yeah, I do. I should. Even now, James is going to think-“

“For fucks sake, Moony, I don’t care what James is going to fucking think!“

Remus stared. Sirius stared back.

“I’m scared of what he’s gonna think, but I also don’t care, fuck. It’s, come on Moony, it’s James we‘re talking about here.“

Remus nodded, once, then twice.

“I know that. It’s still not a ticket to no, no whatever. Right now, no ones knows-“

“And I hate that! I hate that so much, Re, it’s the absolute worst. I don’t want to hide in front of my best friends, hiding in front of everyone else is already fucking hell. I know you just want to protect me.“

And that was the point. He was right. Remus was out to his parents, they supported him, and he had Sirius, who he had wanted for way too long, way way too long before that.

And Sirius was hurt all the Time. Remus would not let anyone hurt him if he was in any position to stop it.

“I’m not stopping you from coming out, Pads. You know I wouldn’t do that.“

He wouldn’t. Sirius had decided himself, to not tell anyone when they started dating, or more, had realised that the less people knew, the less could probably go through to his parents.

“Im not putting you in risk, either“, he added firmly, turning away again to look up at the sky. It was a dark grey.

“Moony.“

Sirius sounded so gentle, and careful, and soft. Vulnerable.

He started planting small kisses up Remus‘ arm.

“What am I going to do?“, he asked, and his voice cracked. Remus‘ head snapped around and Sirius‘ eyes were boring into his, like liquid silver. There were a million questions in them, and Remus didn’t know if he had an answer to even half of them. He detested that.

“They’re gonna want me to get married, and what am I going to do? I’m not marrying some rich girl“, he grumbled, poking his finger into the soil.

“When i just wanna marry you.“

He looked up. Remus smiled.

“You know everything, Moony. Just tell me what to do.“

It hurt. Sweetly.

“Maybe for now you should kiss me underwater. Like they do in the books and movies.“

For a moment, Sirius didn’t respond, before a great smile broke out on his lips.

“But this time we‘re gonna be naked, right?? Pleaseeee.“

And Remus laughed. “Yeah, okay, okay. Come on.“

As Remus walked over to the water carefully, the fog of an early morning was rising from its surface, creating a cloud-like layer all over it. Like a frozen moment, moving unnoticeably to the human eye, so used to the rush, the never stopping fast movement of it all.

When he waded into the water, and he felt Sirius take his hand and intertwine their fingers, Remus felt like time was slowed down.

“It’s still freezing“, Sirius breathed out when they had slowly fallen back and into the softly, almost humanly chuckling of the body of dark water.

“What did you expect it did? Warm up?“, Remus teased him quietly. His breath was forming little clouds, just like Sirius‘ scoff. It passed quickly, but the breath hung in the air for just a second longer, dragging out into one more moment.

Remus recognised his boyfriends smile one second too late, and gasped for breath before his head went under.

This time, again, his hands found Sirius.

They always did.

His hair felt even softer under the dark water as Remus‘ fingers held onto it, even though they were slightly numb by the coldness.

It was dark, and he couldn’t see, and he would have been scared, in another circumstance.

He wasn’t.

He felt a short rush of bubbles between them, and Remus didn’t have to be able to see to know that Sirius was laughing.

He got his kiss underwater. It was in no way as romantic as he’d imagined it to be, because kissing didn’t seem to be cut out for water, plus he definitely swallowed dirty water.

It was worth a good laugh.

Remus had no idea how much time was passing, had passed, would pass. He went under, and Sirius followed.

In the water, there was no gravity. Sometimes that wasn’t good. Remus would lose his horizon and his control, and he would get lost without the safety of an anchor.

Sirius‘ arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him close.

Keeping him right where he wanted to be. Gravity.

Maybe Remus was hallucinating, and maybe he was not.

In the split second of a moment, the sun rose over the tree tops, and shot a single, straight ray of light into the middle of the lake. It was like lightening, but it wasn’t fast and it didn’t disappear. It made the water around them light up, in the second that pulled out into eternity, and it illuminated them, illuminated _Sirius_. Sirius, whose eyes were shining and dark, and open. They were always wide open when he looked at him. Like he didn’t want to miss anything. Remus didn’t want to miss anything either.

Sirius’ hair looked like that of a fallen, dark angel, defying all laws of gravity and just looking amazing as he reached out, palm cupping the back of Remus’ head as he brought them together.

They broke the surface, and the moment was gone.

But maybe it wasn’t. Because Sirius’ hair was plastered to the side of his face, but it still looked _glorious_ , maybe even better than before because he was laughing, and now Remus could actually hear it. Remus was so gone for.

“Freezing my balls off. Let’s get out.”

-

The soil was still moist as they sat on it, and Remus would most probably catch a cold sooner or later. He was willing to pay that price if it meant that Pads would press his face into his neck, atop of the crook of his shoulder, wet hair and all, and wiggle his way into his lap even though he was the bigger one.

“So you obviously like the lake. Knew you would, Moons.”

Remus smiled.

“Nice lake. It’s sad I can’t have one like that.”

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Sirius’ lips started kissing his neck, and Remus swallowed roughly.

„I’m going to steal it for you. I would steal the moon off the sky if it made you happy, Re.”

Maybe he would’ve laughed. Maybe, if the other boy hadn’t sounded so sincere.

“Cheesy”, he murmured, and Sirius laughed, shoving him down onto his back and crawling over him, lips touching his chest repetitively. Remus squirmed under his touch, laughing too.

When Sirius was face to face with him again, he didn’t hesitate to pull him down roughly, and it would’ve been hot if their noses didn’t bump and Remus would’ve been able to breathe. They broke out in a breathless laugh before their lips connected once more.

And Remus, he didn’t know what the future was. If it would be good, happy, if Sirius would be free and how he could help him get there.

In that moment, he didn’t think about these things.

Because he was _living_ , and _laughing_ , and above all, he was fucking _loving_. Even if it was the last thing he’d ever do.

Live, laugh, love.

He had to agree with Pads. A rather stupid quote.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, make sure to leave me some love ;) and follow my tumblr for more frequent updates and the ability to request something!! <3


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